The Future of Feminine Leadership with Sheri Salata - EP 038

Listen on Spotify | Apple Podcasts | iHeartRadio | Pandora | Amazon Music

In this episode, Sheri Salata–former Executive Producer of The Oprah Winfrey Show and Co-President of Harpo Studios and OWN–talks about how business and leadership are changing today, especially for women redefining success on their own terms. She shares personal insights and practical advice on building a thriving business while staying aligned with your values. Sheri discusses moving away from outdated leadership models and embracing a more natural, inclusive, and authentic approach.

Sheri dives into the connection between personal growth and business success. She also talks about the challenges many entrepreneurs face when integrating their values into their work and offers simple, effective strategies to lead with confidence and purpose. Tune in now to discover a new way forward in feminine leadership.

Episode Takeaways:

• Breaking away from outdated, patriarchal structures is essential for progress.
• Rejection can be seen as a "beautiful no" that opens doors to better opportunities.
• Your story is still unfolding—patience and trust in the journey are key.
• True empowerment comes from within; we all carry deep wisdom.
• Staying busy doesn’t always mean making progress—the "trying trap" can hold you back.
• The words we use shape our reality; shifting our language can be empowering.
• Growth should align with personal values, not just external expectations.
• Daily rituals can improve emotional well-being and productivity.
• Community and connection provide essential support for growth.
• It’s never too late to step into your greatness and pursue your passions.

Key Insights:

“We're in a transitional moment where those old patriarchal structures are being dismantled and are dismantling just because of the divine feminine energy that's emerging. That is the energy of intuition and flow and integration and inspiration.” — Sheri Salata

“Leading yourself effectively is the foundation of great leadership.” — Sheri Salata

“A hallmark of feminine leadership is the ability to assess and reassess and not be so attached to being right.” — Rachel Anzalone

“Have the ability to rise up, see the big picture, and then narrow down and focus on the one thing you need to do today and take action on that.”  — Rachel Anzalone

Resources Mentioned: 

• The Beautiful No And Other Tales of Trial, Transcendence, and Transformation
• The Practiced Life Podcast
• The Sheri Salata Free Network

Learn More About the Prosper Network

If you're ready to join a community where generosity and reciprocity aren't just values we talk about - they're how we do business - I'd love to welcome you personally. Visit http://rachelanzalone.com/prosper  to learn more and join The Prosper Network today.

Connect With Sheri:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/SheriSalata/ 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SheriSalata 
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheri-salata-56a85a242/ 

Question for Your Reflection:

When you think about your own path as a leader, what old patterns do you want to let go of, and what new approaches would you like to embrace? 

 

Did this episode resonate with you? Share it with another visionary leader who needs to hear this message, and don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. Your support helps other impact-driven entrepreneurs find their way to our community.

Remember: Your pleasure is your power. 💫

 

Ready to step into the pleasure revolution and transform how you do business? Let's explore how to maximize impact, profit, and pleasure in alignment with the new paradigm. Schedule a time to connect with me right here >>>

 

---

 

Episode Transcript

Rachel Anzalone (01:26)

Hello and welcome to pleasure and profits. In this world that's rapidly awakening to the power of feminine leadership, we're witnessing a profound transformation in how we approach business, success, and what it means to lead. Today's guest is a visionary leader who understands the delicate dance between ambition and wellbeing.

Sherry Salata began her career with Oprah Winfrey as an entry level promotions producer and rose to become executive producer of the Oprah Winfrey show and co-president of Harpo Studios and OWN.

Under her leadership, her Emmy-award winning team touched millions of lives around the world, breaking cultural barriers and advancing a mission of enlightenment and understanding. Ariana Huffington once described Sherri as “the visionary behind the visionary.” And today she's channeling that visionary spirit into transforming how women approach business and leadership. 

Her memoir, The Beautiful No and Other Tales of Trial Transcendence and Transformation is an Amazon Editor's Choice best memoir and an Apple must-listen audiobook.

In this episode, we dive into what it means to lead with both power and grace in today's rapidly evolving business landscape. Sheri shares profound insights about trusting divine timing while pursuing ambitious goals and offers a revolutionary perspective on how rejection can actually be divine guidance.

As a founding member of the Prosper Network, one of Sherry's current ventures, I've experienced firsthand how she's creating spaces for women to reimagine success on their own terms. Be sure to listen through the end of the episode to learn how you can join us in this incredible network of accomplished women entrepreneurs. She's also the founder and CEO of The Support System, a membership platform for women who are ready to manifest all of their possibilities. 

Get ready for a rich conversation about transforming your relationship with success, the power of pleasure in business, and what it truly means to lead from your feminine wisdom. Enjoy.

Rachel Anzalone (03:21)

Sheri, welcome to Pleasure and Profits. It's such a pleasure to have you here. I first just want to say I'm so honored for you to join me today. I know you have so much remarkable life and work experience and so much wisdom to share with us. I think we're going to have a really interesting conversation today.

 

SHERI (03:39)

I am delighted to be here. Thanks for asking me. Such an honor.

 

Rachel Anzalone (03:42)

So listening to your book, The Beautiful No, and being part of The Support System and The Prosper Network, which are incredible organizations that you're building, there's so much alignment between your work and my work and this theme of impact, profit, and pleasure in building a life and a business that's integrated and soul satisfying. 

I would love for you to share to get us started, like you have this remarkable vantage point of having worked in the world that you did that, you know, where you really were in the presence and in the role of one of the really the most powerful women in entrepreneurship. And I'm curious what you're seeing now from a big picture perspective of the transition that's happening between the way things were and what we're evolving into.

 

SHERI (04:30)

Well, what's so interesting is people are not often aware that my first day at the Oprah show, I was 35. So I had already had, gosh, 14 years in various positions, but in very patriarchal, male-run companies or corporations. 

And so then, and then I was there for 20 years. So I feel like for 20 years, I was removed from what the world's structure was. It was a mostly female company. We had some guys. And there were certainly guys in leadership, but mostly female, run by a famous world-renowned woman, and kind of run more like a family mom and pop shop than a big corporation. It was like a unique, not of the world kind of experience. So what do I see now? What I see now is, and this is whether it's your personal life, whether it's family structures, whether it's personal growth, whether it's business, whether it's entrepreneurship. What I feel in my bones is happening is the dismantling of structures that were invented for another time.

I mean, there was a time my grandparents were there for it, my great uncles were there for it, when it was all manufacturing and building steel mills and things like that. And there was a, and the culture was different. I mean, up until 1970 something, women couldn't have their own checking accounts without a man to cosign, which once I realized that, because I was like, I was here for that.

 

Rachel Anzalone (06:28)

Yeah.

 

SHERI (06:35)

What an outrage. But that just passed me by. So what I see is this is the last, who knows how long it's going to take, but we're in a transitional moment where those old patriarchal structures are being dismantled and are dismantling just because of the divine feminine energy that's emerging. And defined feminine energy, I mean, that is the energy of intuition and flow and integration and inspiration. So I think anytime there's been a major, major energetic shift in what it means to be a human in this world and always there's a long tail and a long beginning that kind of fight for attention for a while. But ultimately, I think the collective song is we're ready for the divine feminine to be in the front row, in the leadership position of culture, world, business, all those things. And when I say divine feminine, I'm talking about energy. I'm not talking about sex. I'm not talking about, you know, men. Men are ready for it too. They are ready for a new day. And so I'm excited about it. I'm excited to be alive on the planet while it's all happening.

 

Rachel Anzalone (08:23)

Yeah, I think that's a really interesting point that men are ready for it too, because this patriarchal structure that's happening now isn't sustainable for them either. No. It's not satisfying. It doesn't feel good to them either. It's just also what they've learned and they've been carrying on, right? Yeah.

 

SHERI (08:32)

For sure. For sure. And I have to tell you, if I look back at my own career right now, the version of me that's now, that's an entrepreneur innovating, creating, being inspired, and the me that pushed all the boulders up the hill, I embodied that patriarchal energy because that's how I was trained. That was the energy of the time in leadership positions. And so it's just so interesting to see that dismantling even in my own life.

 

Rachel Anzalone (09:06)

Yeah, and it doesn't happen all at once. It happens in layers and layers where you think you've come so far and then you realize there is some little piece that you're like, I'm still doing that thing. Yeah.

 

SHERI (09:30)

You're so right about that. When I first became an entrepreneur, so I'm working from my house, right? And so I did a workspace for a while, and I'm like, you don't need a workspace. You can sit at your table. That's the magic of entrepreneurship at this time. Really, all you need is a laptop. I would still report for duty at my dining room table at a certain time, and even the thought of doing some free stuff, like personal stuff during work hours. And I kept thinking, that is such an ingrained pattern. Just blow it open, hun. You can be working at 5 in the morning and goofing around at 10.30. The world is your oyster. You can mix this up.

 

Rachel Anzalone (10:12)

Yeah, I've done many iterations of that myself over about 15 years that I've been self-employed of like setting up that first business and then going like, “Oh my God, what am I doing? This is miserable.” And having to kind of break it down and start again. Every time it gets a little easier and I get a little farther ahead, but it's that, what you describe as the great reckoning that I think we each have had ourselves many versions of that, many iterations, and then it feels like that's what's happening collectively right now is that great reckoning.

 

SHERI (10:56)

I agree.

 

Rachel Anzalone (11:00)

Yeah. Are there lessons from your personal great reckoning that you feel like are through lines with the work that you're doing now and what you're teaching inside The Support System or what you're working on today?

 

SHERI (11:15)

Yeah, it turns out that the work I'm doing today is really my own healing, my own re-imagining, my own rebuilding something, creating a life that I'm excited to live and work that doesn't feel like work. Work that's just an extension of my own expansion.

 

Rachel Anzalone (11:39)

Yeah.

 

SHERI (11:44)

So I was just thinking about this to myself the other day. was like, how did you figure this out? It was fits and starts. I've had a couple different iterations, a couple businesses that fell by the wayside, that just didn't suit. That feels like that old pressure. And that feels like that old thing where I've got to do things a certain way. What happens if I really figure out how to do things that are in alignment with my soul. And, you know, that has made all the difference.

 

Rachel Anzalone (12:20)

One of the things I think is really beautiful about your approach is this idea of like, I'm on a journey and I'm inviting you to come with me instead of this, like I have it all figured out. I will be the leader and I will show you the way because I think one of the challenges that we're having and I see this a lot in the entrepreneurial space and in particular in the personal development space is this historical sort of environment of lifting people up on pedestals, making people gurus, whether their audience has done it to them or they've claimed it for themselves. 

And then sort of like that's an impossible standard for anyone to hold. And so then inevitably there's a breakdown somewhere at some point. And if you can hold yourself as the person who is also still on the journey and be vulnerable and share the challenges you have as well, then you're actually doing a much greater service to the people that you're trying to serve. 

 

SHERI (13:24)

Yeah, I think it's more truthful, quite frankly. I was backstage with all kinds of thought leaders and gurus, so to speak. And I'd be like, hmm, you got some work to do. And so, like we all do. But it's like, maybe, maybe, and now I see even in the digital marketing world, I see people who have been in it for two snoots that are holding themselves up as, you know, like, they've taken one class and now they're the experts on something. 

So I think that it's good to be very discerning about that. I think, here's what I've come to understand with all my exposure to all of it, which is there is a knowing inside all of us. There is just a knowing, there's ancient wisdom. It's all there. 

And the excavation of that can be helped by sometimes going to the buffet of programs, teachers, gurus, podcasts, whatever, books, and just saying, let me do a sample. Let me sample a little Deepak Chopra. And let me find the bits that land for me. I don't have to take the whole thing. Let me read The Beautiful No by Sheri Salada. And there might be three or four gems that I pull from that, but I don't have to eat the whole meal there. 

And I think that's what we never really quite understood, actually, is because I was a big program gal. I'm all in. You know, whether whoever it was, and there were many, because I lived my life in those self-help aisles, because I was like, help me, help me, help me, will this book help me, will this book help me, will this book help me? And you can just keep trying on other people's programs, and it's not the same as sampling things and putting together your own program that fits you. And that is what I think we're supposed to be doing.

 

Rachel Anzalone (15:38)

I think so too. And I think the beauty of midlife is that we've sampled so many things and we have started to discern which pieces fit us and formulating our own way of going. I feel like the last 20 years or so has been my graduate studies. And now I'm ready to write the dissertation, at least the first draft, probably the last draft will be 30 years from now.

 

SHERI (15:44)

Yes!

Sure.

Well, yes, and also understanding that it's not one and done. This is an ever evolving situation. There's nuggets that just drop in on me all the time where I go, “All right, let me rethink that. I might not be right about that. Let me rethink that.”

I am much less attached to my rightness. I'm more attached to the discovery of my next level. Yeah, mean, exactly true. I find that this stage of life, I'm just more amenable to sorting through everything that I've picked up along the way and finding the little bites. And when I'm working with women around the world, here's what I'm going to say. The number one thing is you got to start having the confidence that you know some stuff. You got to start having the confidence. You do not need somebody to lead you by the hand. Now, it's much better when you're with a group of same-spirited people and you're doing the work together. It's much better in this place and time. But you don't really need a big singular guru anymore. Not anymore.

 

Rachel Anzalone (17:23)

Yeah, and it's so counter to what we have been taught in our culture. When I started my first business, it was as a holistic health practitioner. And what I found was that people were coming to me wanting me to just tell them what to do. Tell me what to eat. Tell me how to meditate. Tell me how to do the things. And they wanted a prescription for, if you take this supplement for so many days, you will get this result because that's what we've been taught from this masculine environment that we've grown up in. 

I just, at some point, I was like, “oh, God, this is so disempowering to them.” It's putting all of the power on me to solve their problem instead of them starting to feel into, well, how do I feel when I eat that? How do I feel when I don't get enough sleep? How do I feel when I'm doing things that I don't really want to be doing or spending my time? Right? Yeah.

That I think is one of the things about the, like a hallmark of the feminine, of feminine leadership is the ability to assess and reassess and not be so attached to being right, like having that ability to question.

 

SHERI (18:40)

I love that. I love that. Let's make a note of that. Assess and reassess. Just ever assessing. Always reassessing. Being willing to, like listen, I'm willing to tear up all the papers and start all over again. And in my thinking, I really am. I am married to nothing, you know, probably except for my core values, but I'm willing to have those shook up too. 

Because the more I'm in that place of flexibility and non-resistance, the more magic I experience. So I'm like, get me out of the way. Get me out of the way. Universe just dazzled me. Get me out of the way.

 

Rachel Anzalone (19:17)

Yeah. And you talk about this, like the redefining of rejection, The Beautiful No, and what that means. Speak to that a little bit because I think it's really important.

 

SHERI (19:27)

Yeah. Well, listen, it's the title story of my memoir and one of my favorite stories of my life, which is The Beautiful No, which is I was… I had left my ad agency, I'd finally learned how to produce. I had left my ad agency where I was a producer, because I didn't like the accounts there. And I wanted bigger, better accounts. And I got a big interview at a big agency in Chicago, which has since gone out of business. But at the time, it was Hallmark, and with huge accounts.

I had an interview for a senior producer position, and it looked like I had nailed it. That guy almost, he all but hired me right in the room and had the premature celebration with friends at the local watering hole. And then a week later got the letter from HR saying, we're not hiring right now. So I was about as low as I'd ever been and very short of cash. Let me put that in there.

 

Rachel Anzalone (20:32)

Hahaha!

 

SHERI (20:40)

So I had that panic and really, really low. And a few years before, or at some point, I'm always like, it's just such an amazing, miraculous story. I had interviewed at the Oprah Winfrey Show. Not interviewed, I'd applied. I'd sent my reel of commercials and a letter and my resume to the people who did the promos, you know, that department, and they soundly rejected me. That you're not what we're looking for. 

And turns out, in the moment of my deepest despair, not having gotten that ad job, I got a message, “Hey, we were cleaning out a closet, and we found your resume in Rio. You want to come and freelance here and do some promos at the Oprah Winfrey Show?” 

And I mean, I was like. I was like, how the F did this happen? I was like, what? And I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. It was like I had won the lottery in my lowest moment. And it must have been a few years later because I don't think I put this together right away. I mean, I was so happy. And I was like, I'll do anything. I'll do anything. 

But a few years later, I realized if I had gotten that big producing job for all that money, and all those benefits after feeling nervous and insecure for a while, I wouldn't have quit that job to go take a chance on freelancing at the Oprah Show, no way. And then there'd be a whole chunk of my life, you know, the 20 years of my life that basically landed me right here in this chair for this conversation with you would never have happened. So I realized that is the most beautiful no you've ever gotten.

So I'm going to tell you, not only do I think we should all reframe rejection, I think we should understand it doesn't exist. 

 

Rachel Anzalone (22:45)

Hmm, I like that.

 

SHERI (22:47)

It doesn't exist. If you believe that the universe is dropping breadcrumbs, is on your side, is lining things up, and you are doing that personal work to just stay in the receiving mode, a no is really just getting you set up for what you want. So it isn't a rejection. It's just like a, it's like, are you upset when you're driving along the highway and you hit those bumpity bumpity bumps? No, you're like, thanks. I didn't want to go over the side and into the ditch. Thank you. And that's what I think I know is now both in relationships, in business, in any, any situation, I think it is those bumps on the side of the highway.

 

Rachel Anzalone (23:37)

Yeah, you say, like, just re-framing to this messaging of like, can't wait to see how this ends up, like knowing that there's something else coming, that the story's not over yet.

 

SHERI (23:49)

Don't take score too soon. The story is not over yet. And just learn to be curious and not devastated. I mean, we're human. And you have your moment of disappointment. And then move off that. Move off that.

 

Rachel Anzalone (23:51)

Yeah.

Which I think is such an important message right now in this moment in our country is this, like the story's not over yet, right? Like we think about things in these short chunks of time and we wanna make progress in a really fast and easy way. But if we're looking at the long term, the long game, the big picture, the longer story, the story's not over yet and we need to just pull ourselves up and keep going because there's work to be done.

 

SHERI (24:15)

Yeah, yeah, and understanding that things take a while to play out. I like to, my little exercise for myself is I just become a bird. A bird over the country, a bird over where I live, a bird over my life, a bird over my business, and I take that bird's eye view like, ooh, so pretty, so beautiful. I see patterns, shapes, things are coming, things have happened.

You've made some pivots, you're seeing the guidance, and you're not so in it. And then I just keep saying, do not take score too soon. This story is not over yet. So what can you do meanwhile? Let's talk about you're in a big upheaval, no matter if it's outside of you or inside of you, inside your life, outside your life, whatever's happening. How do you respond to that? 

Well. First of all, you tell yourself, you coach yourself through it. Don't take score too soon. And number two, but what's the work I can do right now? And that is to scour my life to find everything that's working, everything I'm loving right now, everything I'm appreciating right now, so I can hold my vibration in a receptive place where I'm still a match to the life I say I want.

And so I'm still a match to good things. I'm still a match to amazing people. I'm still a match to synchronicities. Even if, I turn on the news and it's all going to hell in a handbasket, that's not my experience. And even more than that, when we all do that, we're contributing to a collective energy of light and power and goodness. That is a contribution.

 

Rachel Anzalone (26:31)

It is, absolutely. I love your example of the bird and taking the bird's perspective. I have, I feel like have a very special relationship with hawks and owls. I see them all the time everywhere. And every time the reminder to me is that, to like get perspective. But then I've also watched them. I watched, I remember this moment watching Osprey on a beach. And they're circling and circling and watching them and thinking like they're taking everything in. And then they see the one thing they need to focus on and they dive and they come back out. Right. 

And so when I'm thinking about women entrepreneurs, particularly often like in the beginning stages, it's easy to kind of look at everything that you could be doing and could be focused on and could be working on and just feel completely overwhelmed. Right.

 

SHERI (27:06)

Oh my God. Have I not been there so many times?

 

Rachel Anzalone (27:27)

Yes. So having the ability to like, rise up, see the big picture, and then narrow down and focus on the one thing you need to do today, the one thing you need to do in this hour and take action on that.

 

SHERI (27:42)

Well, here's where I find myself, my friend, which is after loading myself up with all kinds of programs and offerings and this and that, and then being like, “Wow, I'm not really enjoying my life anymore.” And I have spent the last six months dismantling everything, simplifying it down to a nub. So if I were to say anything to a beginning or mid-phase entrepreneur, more nos than yeses. More nos. No is your friend. No is your friend. More nos than yeses. Make your yeses so rare to add new things, to do new things. I understand. It's like, you're like, you're getting behind. Everybody else is doing this. Everybody else has 50 gajillion funnels and zippity-doos and zip wear this and then you're not doing that, my gosh. I understand, I know what that panic is and I have followed that panic right into overwhelm and then doing all kinds of stuff that really doesn't light me up. 

And I think the emerging new feminine leadership is this. I don't do anything that's not inspired. The only action I take is inspired. Where I can in feel in my body, “Yes, that's going to be great. You're going to love doing that. You're really going to enjoy that.” If I don't feel that, uh-uh, no more of that.

 

Rachel Anzalone (28:20)

Yeah, it's so interesting because often I've made the observation that in the worlds that I'm in, a lot of personal development, holistic wellness, people who are in embodiment work, really like soulful, purpose-driven entrepreneurs, applying those principles in most of their life is pretty easy. And then when it comes to their business, there is some resistance to that. Like it all sounds good, but then when it comes to actually taking action in their business, there can be a lot of resistance. 

And I feel like it's really just a hump we have to get over. It's like that final sort of level of trust that will allow us to create, like you say, create your own recipe, to create our own recipe for our business the same way that we have in our love lives and our free time and all of those things, because it really should all feel good.

 

SHERI (28:39)

How many times have people you know, you and I don't have to totally out ourselves here, been scrolling through Facebook and gotten hooked in by some marketing snazaru, and next thing you know, you've signed up for something, and then you go to it, and it's as flimsy as a noodle. There's nothing there. It's like there is some repurposed snazorama that you already knew. And how many times has that happened?

And really, that's just because we don't understand yet that we have guidance inside ourselves, even if we're just starting out, that will help us figure out exactly what we need to be doing, how we need to be doing it, and just stay there. And you're right. It is a trust moment, where you're like, I trust I'm being led. I trust that inspired action will take me right to abundance and opportunity. And beyond that, I'm not going to mess around, like trying to act busy.

So I can feel busy and important, you know?

 

Rachel Anzalone (31:27)

Yes. Yeah. I want to come back to that because I think it relates very much to the trying trap that you talked about in one of your recent episodes. We'll come back to that. But first, I just want to make note of in your book, you made a list of the sort of criteria to assess spiritual practices by or teachers of, I might be describing that wrong, but it was a list of like, does it guide you back to yourself or does it take you away? Yeah. And, and listen, it's such good advice, but listening to it, I was like, yes, all of this applies to your business as well and who you choose to follow in terms of where you're learning how to do business and where you're learning marketing and the circles that you're putting yourself in it. All of those same principles apply there as well.

 

SHERI (32:02)

You know, one of the things that I did very often in my early entrepreneurship days is that I was very much sought out to be in different masterminds.

 

Rachel Anzalone (32:37)

Yeah, expensive ones probably.

 

SHERI (32:41)

And I'd be like, oh my gosh. And all these people know what they're doing. And I don't know. Some of them, I'm sure, are very good. And I had some really good experiences. But what I really found is there'd be a nugget, a gem. It wasn't for me to take the whole thing. It wasn't for me to carbon copy myself after somebody in the mastermind.

It was like to pick up a tip, you know, or to hear what somebody else learned the hard way, you know, and of course the socializing and the women were really, really great, but it wasn't, you know, to think, it's that thing that marketing has done such an amazing job of getting us to believe that somebody else knows better about our own lives and that there is an answer out there in a book or a program or whatever that's not inside ourselves. I mean, that's basically what marketing language does.

I just saw something just a minute ago and I started laughing. It was just like, what you need to stop doing immediately. Okay, I'm like, because I'm like, what? And then I'm like, don't you fall for that Sheri Salata. That is a line that is now being sold to 10 billion people every day on Instagram and Facebook. Don't you fall for that. I know what I need to stop doing. Stop doubting myself. Stop saying yes when I really should say no. I know what I need to do. So let's talk about the trying trap because I think that's big.

 

Rachel Anzalone (34:19)

Yeah. Yeah, because. And it ties directly to this, which is you could spend all of your time trying this method and trying that method and learning this thing and learning that thing and saying, I'm trying to have a business or I'm starting or I'm doing this thing or I'm trying to grow. I'm trying to leverage. I'm trying to work less. And you're not actually doing it. At any point, you're keeping yourself busy with this trying. You describe it so beautifully.

 

SHERI (34:48)

Well, you know, this is late in life. I'm telling you, the epiphanies continue. I was traveling in Italy with a group of women. And every day, we would workshop three or four hours a day. And then we'd go and eat pasta and travel and tour. It was fun. I kept, I'm like, what am I hearing in this language? I just kept hearing it over and over. What I'm trying to do is I'm trying to lose weight. I'm trying to improve my marriage. I'm trying to figure out how I can meet a new person. I'm trying to figure out how to short my business. And I'm like, I say that too. It's a habit of speech. It is a turn of phrase that's become very habitual. I'm like, but words are very powerful. Where does that come from? And really what I realized is it's early training. 

Now, with the onset of the divine feminine and future generations, it's not going to be a thing. But in the midst of the patriarchy, where most of us were raised in the middle of life or older, little boy training and little girl training is very different. Little boy training is get it done, sir. Little girl training is, well, if you try, if you try, that'll be good. And please don't bother anybody or be a big nuisance, or don't think you're the center of the attention and the center of the world, and be nice and be pleasing. And trying is good. You just keep trying. It's very different training. 

And so what ends up happening is you're on a hamster wheel, always trying, never being, always trying, always trying to lose weight, trying, trying, trying, always trying, never accomplishing or being. It isn't a blanket thing. Of course there are things you accomplish in your life. But there is a default to trying is good enough. And the problem is it's a trap. It's a trap. It's a trap. Instead of just saying, I'm not going to do it. That would be a more powerful, empowered stand. I'm not doing it.

 

Rachel Anzalone (37:11)

It's just the decision to not. Yeah. Yeah.

 

SHERI (37:16)

I'm not doing it. No, I'm not doing it. This is what I'm going to do now. I'm going to do this and I'm going to do this. I'm going to become this. I'm being it right now. And I think about that another time. It would be better to do that than continue to, and listen. Everybody who's listening, listen to yourself and remove that phrase used that way from your vocabulary, from your speaking about yourself, from your story, because it is not helpful. Not helpful.

 

Rachel Anzalone (37:56)

Yeah, and where I see it often in, again, like often in early stage entrepreneurship, but also I've seen it with people running multimillion dollar businesses is that I'm trying to, you know, I'm sort of dabbling in all these different areas. I call it dabbling. It's like a little of this and a little of that and a little of this, but never really making any progress in any one thing instead of focusing in and committing to do that one thing in that one area.

And you said something about becoming it, being it, right? And so it becomes about who we are as a person. And instead of being the person who is like, well, I try this and I try that, I am the person who does things. I am the kind of person who gets my work done. I am the kind of person who shows up for my commitments. I am the kind of person.

 

SHERI (38:53)

Right. I'm a person of my word and words matter. Very powerful. And it all goes back to there's no more powerful story we're telling than the story we're telling ourselves about ourselves. And so once we get that story right, where we are, you know, where we're stepping into our greatness without apology, without dimming our lights so we don't bother anybody or make anybody jealous, whether we just step into the light and acknowledge our own greatness and do the things we love without worrying about what everybody else thinks about it. That is liberation. And I think that really is. I mean, that's the path of ease.

 

Rachel Anzalone (39:50)

I also think that's one of those things that has been trained and ingrained is this idea as women that it has to be perfect before we put it out in the world. And men do not do that. There's a whole lot of mediocre men doing mediocre stuff out there.

 

SHERI (40:01)

And again, the training was different. It's like, get it done, get out there, you'll get good at it eventually. And yeah, and we're still like, it's not quite right. Listen, I have a funny joke for my own self. Like, when I don't know what to do, I rebrand. When I'm not sure what to do with my company, I rebrand because it feels powerful.

 

Rachel Anzalone (40:22)

That's awesome.

 

SHERI (40:30)

It feels like I'm picking out new colors and a new font and a new look and a new this and then I just say to myself you don't really need to rebrand right now what you need to do is figure out what you want to do. What do you want to do, what lights you up, what is, first of all I make sure that what I do in my own work is first in service to myself because if it's in service to myself then it can be of service to somebody else

But trying to chase down like I remember once. I had in one of my membership groups, I had created the support system. I had created an advisory board. I thought, that's from my old patriarchal life. That would be wonderful. And I could acknowledge those members who really show up and participate. And after about eight months, “I go, guys, I'm disbanding this.” And they're like, what? And I'm like, I'm not going to do what you say. You're on this board, and now you feel like you have a say. Of course you should. You're an advisor. But I'm not going to do it that way. I'm only going to do what I want to do and the way I want to do it.

So this is just like a, let's have a chitty chat time. And that's what I realized is I'm not even like, listen, I'm not sure this is great advice. So let me just think about this for a second.

There can be a lot of focus in the formulaic way of business building about understanding your customer journey and get all kinds of feedback from them. I think that feels very dated to me now. What feels inspired to me is build the business you want to build the way you want to build it and let those people come. You're not going for everybody. I'm not a match for everybody. I'm a match for people, for mostly women who want to have this kind of conversation with me. And if you're not interested in that, I'm not going to be a match for you. And that's OK. We're not meant to connect in this lifetime. 

But there are other women who are dying to have this conversation and are dying to do the things that I do in my memberships and things that come to the events for the conversations I like to have. Those are the people I'm speaking to. I'm not speaking to everybody. That feels so freeing, I gotta tell ya.

 

Rachel Anzalone (43:09)

And the difference between those two perspectives is like growing at any cost, right? Versus growing something that feels aligned to sustainable is satisfying that you're excited to show up to every day. And that's the distinction, that so much of what's being taught out there in terms of marketing and business growth is growth at any cost, not growth that fits you and is aligned for you.

 

SHERI (43:15)

Right, and also let's say this, growth at any cost is very flimsy. You know, next thing you know, something happens, you know, your business is getting crushed, as opposed to inspired action, inspired growth, where you're doing what your feet were put on the earth to do, and you are just loving every many of it. Again, that's where trust comes in. That is real abundance.

Abundance will flow in when you are committed to that. Abundance will follow the passion.

 

Rachel Anzalone (44:15)

You said what your feet are on this earth to do. You make a reference, I think, to the work you're doing now and how it actually ties back into what you were doing when you started at the Oprah Network. And I have the same thing that every time I question, like, what am I doing? I feel a little lost. I literally gave a speech at my high school graduation. And I go back and I read that speech that I wrote when I was 17. And I'm like, “It's the same thing. It's never changed.”

There's always the same foundational core to it. And the mechanism might be different or the skill set I have might be different, but it's always the same thing.

 

SHERI (44:52)

Yeah, that's amazing. Well, that's amazing that you can go back to 17. I certainly cannot.

Rachel Anzalone (44:59)

But I did a lot of other nonsense in between.

 

SHERI (45:02)

I know, I know, but there is a little something there. Yeah, I know. I wanted to be, I wanted a cool job. I would say that was my value. Yeah, but that is very true. It's like the seeds that were happening, the Oprah show, I mean, I was paid to watch the tapings and then to produce commercials for the tapings. That was my first kind of entry level job. So one day it's Makeovers, the next day it's Marianne Williamson. One day it's a giveaway or a movie star, the next day it's Eckhart Tolle.

And so I just, I buckled down, man, because I was like, this is, I could feel, those were the shows, those were my favorite shows. So I could feel that I was now being paid to build the foundation, a new foundation for a spiritual life. And it just kept opening me up and opening me up and opening me up and opening me up. And now look all these years later, I am most committed to my own expansion. I most want to work with other women who are committed to theirs or want to be. All you got to do is want to be. And I could show you some things to get your feet on the path. You just got to want to be. And very simple, easy, tried and true things, we can get your feet on the path. And then, very, very important, that you are in community.

You know, it's a very, I love it when people, I get to tell people when they say, you know, I just hate Zoom and I just hate, and I hate all that computer stuff. And I'll be like, have a seat. And I'll be like, do you not see? This is like a gift from the heavens that we can meet people from all over the world for conversations that matter. Just like anything, it has to be managed. You know, if you're just playing video games all day, maybe it's not as good of a thing as using it to be connected to people who want to have the leading edge conversation, and you don't all have to live side by side. It's amazing.

 

Rachel Anzalone (47:29)

Yeah, that's huge. I think about the people in my life. My closest friends live in New York City, Minneapolis. They live all over the country, but we connect sometimes every week on Zoom or WhatsApp. I have a friend in Canada where we just message back and forth on WhatsApp nonstop. For myself, what I found, because I've been in that phase where I'm like, I hate Zoom. I can't be on another meeting, is that I was on the wrong meetings. I was on the wrong Zoom call.

 

SHERI (47:47)

That's right. That's right. That's right. Good for you. That's exactly right. No, because it fills me up. I mean, I love my Zooms. It just fills me up. I could talk about this stuff all day long. And the reason why I can and I choose to calendarize my personal development and my business by continued conversations like this, because then I remember. I remember what kind of life I want to have. I remember what version of my life I'm in the process of creating. I remember why The Practice Life means something to me, why I understand that now, that it's little practices done consistently that change everything. I mean, it just keeps me, it just keeps my feet moving forward.

 

Rachel Anzalone (48:52)

Yeah, I think this idea of like these small practices, small changes and the ripple effect that they have is so important. And that could be, we don't even know most of the time the effects that we have, like every little action that we have, every interaction and how that then affects somebody else's interactions with other people and other people and beyond. And it's clear that your business now, this work that you're doing with The Support System and The Prosper Network, and now with the podcast, The Practice Life, is really about those ripple effects and those daily touch points and those small interactions that build up over time. What do you feel is the legacy that you're really wanting to create this time? And how do you see that as an example for other women who are wanting to build a legacy and be leaders in this world?

 

SHERI (49:47)

Well, maybe here is where my legacy will end. A little bit of a leader first, lead yourself. Before you're serving yourself up as a leader, first lead yourself. And that has been a beautiful, beautiful learning in my own life for all the times that I wasn't leading myself. Like lead yourself. Understand that you are running this life experience of yours. You are the manager. Nobody else is going to come along and do it for you. How you doing with that? Are you monitoring the energetic content that comes into your life? Are you looking at your schedule like, this is my plan. This is my life plan, my calendar is. It's my life plan. I don't just flub any old thing on it. You got to pass some mustard to get on my calendar because it's my life plan. So first leader, lead yourself. I'd love for that to be part of my legacy because it's part of my greatest learning.

And then the second thing is it doesn't matter how old you are or how many mistakes you've made. It is not too late to step into your greatness. But there's a price. There's a price to step into your greatness. You gotta stop shrinking. You gotta stop trying to please everybody. You gotta stop holding yourself back.

You've got to say, this is my moment and I'm stepping into my greatness. And you've got to be willing once and for all to stop the quest for, how am going to learn to love myself? How am going to learn? Get off of that hamster wheel, trying trap, and just say, I love myself. I love myself. And I will continue to populate my life with practices that remind me how much I love myself.

And meanwhile, I'm going to step into my own greatness right in the center spotlight of my life. And that's it. That's it. No more screwing around. Because this kind of innovation, creativity, joy, abundance, this can be yours till you take your last breath. There is, you don't have to just say, well, I guess I blew it. As long as you're breathing, you get another chance. 

So I think somewhere in there, as it's still becoming, I would like that to be my legacy, that people could look at me and listen to me and go back and realize not only should they want more, but that they can make it happen for themselves.

 

Rachel Anzalone (52:57)

That's really beautiful. You say in your book, I will dream my life as if I live to be 100. I will live my life as if this day, the day I wake up is the only one I get.

 

SHERI (53:11)

That's right. That's right. That's hard one wisdom.

 

Rachel Anzalone (53:15)

Yeah, because I really believe that our embracing of joy and pleasure and those experiences that really, like really what lights us up and doing that every day is what brings us into our power. I would love for you to share a practice or an insight or something that you, a ritual that you use yourself that brings you into alignment, that brings you joy.

 

SHERI (53:43)

Well, and right now with The Support System, I'm doing a double ritual morning practice. So every day, Monday through Friday, 20 days a week, I lead a live meditation, Vedic Mantra meditation inside my meditation group. Then on Saturday and Sunday, I meditate by myself for 20 minutes. 

And what I'm stacking it with right now is what I'm calling the morning magic practice. Which is, takes three minutes. It's a quick little thing where the minute I'm conscious before any old story, because I used to be like, ugh, it's morning, ugh, oh my gosh, is it already time? I'm of those kind of wakers. And so now it's yay I'm here, yay I'm back. And then I go into a what's working practice.

I about what's working in my life. I think about what I'm loving in my life. I think about what I'm appreciating in my life. And I set my emotional intention for the day, which is how do I want to feel today? And then boom, into my 20 minute meditation. And now my vibration is just stacked. I'm just set for the day. And then I do a lot of other little practices, little things. Hand on heart, five deep breaths. Big practice for me. 

You know, I wrap up my nights, I have a little nighttime ritual, but I try to make everything. Whether I'm making a cup of tea, or I'm taking a nap, or I'm doing dishes, I try to ritualize things with intention. Just using those things as moments, just to remember to be present, to enjoy this now moment, to fully inhabit it, because I feel like living out of the now, I missed a lot of my life. And I don't want to miss anymore.

 

Rachel Anzalone (55:48)

Thank you for sharing that. This has been such a gift. I appreciate you joining us and sharing all of your wisdom with us. Before we go, is there anything that you want to share in terms of what you have coming up about The Support System, The Prosper Network, anything you want to share with us?

 

SHERI (55:49)

Yeah! Well, listen, I think that we've created two of the most fantastic membership groups for women, one for personal growth and one for entrepreneurship. And I think it's just founded in some, like, the values that make the difference. So what we created at the front of those memberships is a free front porch. And on that free front porch, I have that morning magic practice for free that I just walked you through. 

I have a free workbook. I have early access to the podcast. I have a community there. And anybody can join that at sherisalata.com/freenetwork. And you can get all that stuff. And so join us there. 

We also do events. I'm going to do something really big here at the end of February on manifestation. But yeah, I'd like to make sure there's a seat at the table for everybody. So sherisalata.com/freenetwork and start doing the morning magic with me.

 

Rachel Anzalone (57:10)

Awesome. Thank you so much. And I'll be sure to share that link and the support system and the Prosper Network in the show notes for anyone who's interested. Thank you again for being here. I appreciate it so much. Thank you all for listening. And I will see you in the next episode. Until then, remember, your pleasure is your power. Take care.

 

Rachel Anzalone (57:32)

Hey, it's Rachel here. Before you go, I want to tell you more about something Sheri and I touched on during our conversation, The Prosper Network. As I shared in this episode, I built my business through meaningful relationships and powerful referral networks.

That's exactly why I decided to become a founding member of The Prosper Network. This is a carefully curated community of accomplished women entrepreneurs who understand that real business growth happens through authentic connections. As the Director of Strategic Visioning, I lead quarterly planning sessions where we work together to bring your biggest business visions to life.

If you're ready to join a community where generosity and reciprocity aren't just values we talk about, they're how we do business, I'd love to welcome you personally. Visit rachelanzalone.com/prosper to learn more and join The Prosper Network.

I can't wait to connect with you inside.